thoughts...

So, it's been a week away from home, and a month on my own...which is still hard to believe. Each year at school I've had to grow up a little bit more, and this year is no exception.

I'm hopeful that I have a good year acidemically, through tennis, and in my relationships. There are so many special people here that I don't give enough credit. As much as I make fun of the south, it really has been such a great experiecnce for me here. I'm in the bible belt, and even though I haven't had any desire to join a church or religion for that matter, I think I've become more spiritual here. I don't know if it's from the people, the atmosphere, or a combination, but I feel like I can step outside of myself and look at the bigger picture.

I've actually had a few out-of-body experiences here which have been kind of scary in retrospect. Twice playing tennis I've gone outside myself and..I'm not sure how to describe this exactly, but I've thought about the person I was playing and just knew where the ball was going to go, and what my reaction was going to be, which was good or bad. I was looking at myself from the outside and just watched as a spectator, and it was really weird...

Once while walking home through the woods, I felt and heard someone whisper from my right side. I turned around and of course nothing was there, but it was pretty freaky too.

I've also had a lot of time on my own here in Charlotte. I think I've become more introspective and observant. On the other hand, I don't have That many great memories of partying or hanging out with friends as I thought I would. Perhaps I was unintentionally holding out because of the relationship I was in, maybe not because of jealousy issues but because of lonliness. Now, I still feel lonely but I have nothing holding me back, so my goal was to push myself to be more open with people. From this first week at school I know that will still be an issue but hopefully with my friends and teammates I will overcome it and have a great last year.