Reflections

So, it's the first time in the past few weeks that I've actually had a second to write! I've played in two fall tournaments (Wilmington and Wake Forest) and had a ton of schoolwork that I'm almost all caught up with.

I really enjoyed my matches in the two fall tournaments. I had a few good wins, some losses I'd like to take back, but overall I feel good about the way I'm playing and being competitive with top players.

I've gone through so many emotions, exhausted my body to the limit, and worked my brain to the max as well. I had a match where we split sets and went to a third set 10 pt tie breaker and I was down 6-2, then 8-4. We had a point where she had me off the court and I scrambled and barely got her shot back and instead of putting it away she tried to drop shot me, but I was already running to the net because I guessed she might do that and I was right. I won that point and the next 5 to win the match and it felt amazing. I was pumped with adrenaline and my hands were shaking when I walked off the court. My opponent was crying on the sideline.

The next match I played, I won the first set pretty easily. She came back and won the second 6-4 I think, and we played another 10 pt tie breaker. I was in control for the entire tie-breaker and went up 9-7 but lost both points. I had another match point at 12-11 and lost that one too. I saved a match point, and then lost the next one, and the match. I was pretty shaken up, annoyed, and upset. I felt like I had thought too much about the score. I imagined myself shaking hands and smiling at my coach before it was over. It isn't too often that a match comes down to the difference between a point, or a shot even. That microscopic difference became the determining factor of my mood for the rest of the day and my outlook on the match itself. That attitude is kind of silly because if I had won I would have felt great about the match, but I didn't...so I felt like crap...But life went on, and I spent the rest of the day cheering on my teammates and going about my business.

What is the difference between the person who wins and the person who loses? I think it's mental. It's the person with confidence, who plays with no fear. Everyone has talent beacuse they wouldn't be playing if they didn't. The winner has mental strength that allows them to perform at a peak level when the situation gets tight. My tennis can only get so much better over time, but my mental strength, focus, and attitude will be the difference whether I will beat top players.

Tennis and such...

So...Campus Edge decided to rip out the carpets in my appt. today so there's a massive dehumidifier sitting in the middle of my now cement floors, furniture scattered, paint-thinner smelling apartment. Therefore, I'll be spending the rest of the night in my room, where I can still breathe.

Nadal lost yesterday. He's my favorite player if anyone couldn't tell...

What I like to see the most besides my favorite players winning is to see them lose. To see how someone can break them down when they seem so unbreakable. The different strategies they use when theyre down, and then the last moments of desperation. It isn't often, but sometimes a player can come back from being down so far. It's easy to say it isn't over until it's over, try hard for every point, etc. But in reality, it isn't often that a player can come back (especially in men's tennis where the server is so dominating). Anyway, I like to see how players react to a loss, what their thoughts are about what happened, and ultimately how they regroup. Do they play badly for the next few tournaments, or does the loss re-generate them into another winning streak? The best players on their worst days will only dip to a certain level. They will still maintain a level of play that can still beat players even if they aren't playing their best.

As I am struggling in another downfall after an amazing summer, I try to remember that it happens to everyone. Even the best players lose. It's not about the loss though, it's about how that loss affects the player...

On that note, I plan to kick ass this year....Go Niners!

Oh, and by the way..I don't edit or re-read anything that I write so if I have typos or grammatical errors sorry =)