I don't wanna be a stereotype

So, I heard one of the most dissapointing comments I've ever heard this weekend by one of my good friends. After the wedding, we decided to go out for drinks in atl. We're driving on the highway and there's a nice, black, SUV riding next to us and it has rims on it. They weren't obnoxious like most of the ones I see, and it was on a nice car too. Someone said, "look at them rims!"....silence...."they're probably black"

wow. I went off on her about how that's racist and stereotypical, and her response? "you know what? I don't really care"

wow. So, that pretty much ruined my night and I have been thinking about it all night and all day today. It just blows my mind that someone can say something so derogatory about an entire race of people. Who does she think she is? And the fact that she knows she said something derogatory and doesn't care just blows my mind. This is the same girl that will start a story by saying, yea we were going to go here but there were these sketchy black people outside so we left. OK. what were they doing that was so sketchy? Was it the fact that they were black that led you to believe you were in danger?

Being in the south where I feel like I've been time-warped 50 years, I try so hard not to be a stereotype. I don't want to be the rich white girl who gets anything she wants. I don't want to ever get used to some of the comments I hear on a daily basis. But what am I doing to change anything? Most of my friends at school are white or european and I see them on a daily basis as a housemate, teammate, or classmate. I need to stay cordial with these people even when sometimes I wish I could just say, I don't want to have anything to do with you. When I graduate, most likely I will leave this area. A lot of it has to do with the backwards thinking that goes on here. I feel like I'm helping the problem by leaving by taking the easy way out. "They're not like me so I'm going to go back to where I'm comfortable". But how is the thinking ever going to change?

It's so strange how different races isolate themselves here. You can literally see the break-up of races just by walking around campus. It just adds to the misunderstandings people have about one another. My friend just sees a group of African Americans and it just adds to her perception of the stereotype. I'm so frustrated with her and with everyone else here. I hate the separation and I hate the misconceptions that I hear about African Americans and Latin Americans as well. I hate the accents and the impersonations and the jokes. I can't stand the southern pride and the "all-american" attitude. I want diversity, I want a change, and I don't want to be a stereotype.

ashleigh's wedding

Wow! so I just got back from Ashleigh's wedding this weekend, and it was such an interesting experience! There were some moments I got chills from excitement, yet others where I felt negative about weddings and marriages.

The ceremony was at a baptist church in Atlanta, and I was warned ahead of time that Baptist sermons tend to be very forward about their views on homosexuality, etc. I thought the pastor (is it pastor?) was obnoxious, sexist, and scolded the couple as they stood on the altar.

I've always watched the wedding story on TLC and sitting there in the church I felt like I was watching one of those shows. There is so much history in the wedding ceremony and so many people have gone through the same experience. It's almost become a cliche and the ceremony isn't special anymore. I feel like the wedding is a script that every girl feels like she has to have her turn playing the lead role. It's the same way I feel about walking during graduation. Whether I walk or not, I still graduated. It's just for show, so my parents can say they saw me walk.

With a tradition that has so much history, I would think that it should take place in a setting with as much rich history. I'm not religious, but if I was, I would want to get married in an old church where people have devoted themselves for hundreds of years. When we pulled into the church where Ashleigh and Paul were getting married, I thought we were pulling into a shopping complex. The church looked like a mall and the interior was just as modern. The altar was lit with lighting that belonged on a high school stage. There was a small stained glass panal that looked almost cheesy. The whole enviornment felt fake to me.

The best part of the ceremony was when Ashleigh walked down the aisle to meet Paul at the altar. She looked gorgeous and was absolutely glowing! But again, it feels so Staged and scripted, like every episode I've seen on TLC. It makes me want to do something different if I ever do get married. It would be in a place that has a history, personal or spiritual, with a ceremony that doesn't push religion on the guests or myself.

The pastor wouldn't give ashleigh the host because that was paul's job as the "man of the household". He told paul it's his job to take care of the house and he has the responsibilities of whatever...It just seems so dated to still be thinking like that. And ashleigh believes that the man should be this way as well. She once told me that she wouldn't go to a sermon with a woman preaching because she thought it was the man's job or something like that, I don't remember the context. I think it's problematic to rely on someone like that, but that's just me.

It's a whole other world down here...

just talkin...

So I had the weirdest dream last night...it was so vivid and I had flashbacks all day today. I won't write out the story because it's one of those dreams where it only makes sense in your mind and when you write it out it sounds ridiculous.

Basically, the moral of the dream was that there was a problem in my life and I used a person who I trusted and cared about to solve my problem. I decided to get married because it would solve the problem and I wouldn't have to take care of myself anymore. Then, later in the dream, I had the three boys from my last relationships and I was taking turns kissing each of them. It was like I was testing each one out to see who I liked the most...it was really weird.

So today, I was talking with my roommate, and we decided that at the core, people don't change. When you're apart from people such as family or friends, it's the good times and happy memories that stick out in your mind. You forget about the times when you wanted to kill them or when you simply clashed in every possible way. Once you meet up again though, those bad habits that annoy you so much stick out like a sore thumb. You are reminded why you separated from them or why you didn't stay in touch as much. People are creatures of habit, myself included. But people stay the same whether you like it or not. Either you mesh or clash or fall somewhere in between. Of course this is not black and white because you can still love or enjoy someone even if they do things that annoy you sometimes (i'm not a heartless bitch i promise)

anyway, it's ashleigh and paul's wedding on saturday and I can't wait to experience something so important in someone's life. Marriage is such a milestone in so many lives and something I know I've dreamed and imagined for a long time. Though I'm a long way away from ever going through a marriage myself, I want to look at Ashleigh and Paul as an example for what I hope I will have for myself one day.